I have been pretty slack about updating.
A lot of my focus went into preparing for court on April 22...only to have the case continued b/c S's lawyer had the stomach flu. EXTREMELY frustrating. S personally delivered the news to Mom and I, and I had to walk away before the red hot angry tears started flowing. He WILL NOT see me cry.
We rescheduled for June 10. This was good in that nothing changed. This was bad in that nothing changed. On a clearly happy note, L told me that night he was scared that things would change after court and that he liked things just the way they were. T had a meltdown a week ago wondering why he couldn't stay at his dad's overnight during the week. It was all I could do to bite my tongue, but I very carefully explained to him why, and he seemed content with that answer and hugged me.
Dyed and chopped off my hair. In the days before court, I decided I wanted a real new start (we were supposed to walk out of there DIVORCED), so I did what I had been agonizing over for months...I chose a haircolor and got crazy. I hadn't colored my hair since 1994, so it was quite a move for me. It's a reddish brown, but most importantly....NO MORE GRAYS. I had it cut, then cut again well above my shoulders. From boob length hair to slightly longer than chin length...I will admit the attention from it has been a real ego boost. A guy driving a forklift stopped me the day after as I walked into work; he opened his window and shouted, "I like your haircut," closed his window, and kept on trucking. Random as hell, but it made me smile the rest of the day. I think b/c I have ignored most beauty laws while I've been dealing with the kid stuff and custody issues, suddenly seeing me with make-up and done hair was like an Extreme Makeover reveal moment.
Ordered my own RSML t-shirt (a pink babydoll) and got new license plates (RSML-L&T). YAY!
L currently has an A in Science. This is a major victory b/c he failed the first 2 nine weeks and got a D in the 3rd 9 weeks. I couldn't be more proud. When his teacher called to tell me about his test grade (94/A, thank you very much), she also told me how much he has matured and settled down the past few months. It choked me up, and made all the tears, the anger, the sacrifice worth it. I'm sure some of it has to do with him just developing into a full blown tween, but I would like to think giving him consistency, structure, and discpline I can follow through with has attributed to it as well.
T still has his own set of issues. His guidance counselor put him in a divorced parents group and he hated every second of it. His goal was resist as much as possible so that he would be left alone. It of course, backfired. He also wants out of his gifted class, because "it's too hard." Telling him he wouldn't be in it if he couldn't do the work did no good. When he asked why he couldn't just be average, I tried explaining that average work would be hard if he was average, that that is how the education system functions. If he would use his little brain for good instead of evil, there is no telling what that little boy could accomplish. I worry about him for next year in 5th grade and then for the shock of middle school work, but we need to get through today and the next day before we can deal with all of that.
So there's the update. Oh, one more - my man and I broke up. Again. The reasons why are long and boring and complicated, so it's best to leave it at that.
